Monday, May 23, 2011

Pretty Pretty Rob Lowe

This morning, I tweeted at Rob Lowe to tell him that he does not know what “glass ceiling” means and he is TOTALLY IGNORING ME and giving me the ROB LOWE SILENT TREATMENT and I am literally sobbing.

Also, after I tweeted at him, I spent about 5 hours worrying that he was making a joke about the glass ceiling that I just didn’t grok, until I realized (I think) that Rob Lowe just doesn’t know what “glass ceiling” means.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Louder Than A Bomb

Go see my friend Greg's movie! If you like teenagers and you like slam poetry and you like Chicago! It's playing at the IFC Theater here in NY right now! You are a fool if you miss this.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Not If I See You First, Andrew Smiley!

I saw this spot on TV and I was like “WAIT, WHAT?”

Andrew Smiley says “See you next Tuesday.”

And I don’t think he knows? He could have just said “Call us on Tuesdays!” or “We run this promo every Tuesday to teach you about medical malpractice!”

But, noooo. He calls us, collectively, a cunt.

That fucking bastard.

(thanks for posting it, youtuber Imbeccable!)

Monday, May 16, 2011

Friday, May 06, 2011

O, What a Beautiful Morning

This morning, as I was still clinging tenaciously to the remaining threads of a delicious dream, Panda Boo puked all over me and my bed. And it was so gross and so warm and so gooshy that I involuntarily puked all over the cat, and myself, and the bed. We were both covered in puke! Me and my cat, with so much puke in our fur! So I put me and the cat into the shower, and then I cleaned the sheets and dropped them off with the nice lady who does my laundry and asked her to bleach them to high holy heaven. WHAT A MORNING. 

Monday, May 02, 2011

Best Commercial Ever

My superpal Peter is the star of what I believe to be the greatest commercial ever.